Still Me

A cloudy night

Nights and days running together

Hard to keep track

Hard to concentrate

Feeling alone

Has never felt so lonely

Memory drifting

And a longing remains

Waiting for the clouds to lift

Revealing a clear sky

And a bright tomorrow

But for now I wait

Trying to remember the day

The week

The month

Temporary solitude

Is still solitude

Even the words struggle

To become a thought

To become something

More than a jumble

A cluster of memories

Flowing together into dreams

Dreams that are fleeting

And sometimes I wonder

If I'm becoming muddled

Jumbled fragments of me

Trying to remain a person

And not just a concept

Is it an existential crisis?

I cannot say

As fragmented thoughts

And partial memories

Float about my mind

Is this new?

Or have I just begun to notice?

I close my eyes

And I recall my face

And realize I'm still me

I'm still here

Whoever that may be today

Through the confusion and pain

I am still here

I am still me

Prepared Way

I was alone
There was no one to hear my words
As they echoed out
In the cold of night
I asked for direction
I asked for guidance
So I listened
And I spoke
As if I were before a crowd
And I kept listening
And I kept speaking
Until I had said
What I meant to say
But had been unable to put into words
And found my way
By listening
By learning
And I was ready
My way had been prepared
So I gave thanks
And left to face the night
And wait for the morning

An Poem (an makes it look propper)

When I Close My Eyes

Darkness
My mind drifts
Afloat in a sea of dreams
No destination
No worries
Just thought
Thoughts of this
Thoughts of that
Never ending
Sometimes they slow
But never stopping

Mind filled
Overflowing
Ideas flashing brilliantly
Like fireworks in a night sky
One after another
This flow of ideas
Never ceasing
Never ending

I close my eyes
And try to forget
Try to remember
Sometimes
I just try
Because it is all I can do
So I try
And wait
Hoping the darkness
The constant
The never ending
Pauses
Just for a moment
When I close my eyes