Still Me

A cloudy night

Nights and days running together

Hard to keep track

Hard to concentrate

Feeling alone

Has never felt so lonely

Memory drifting

And a longing remains

Waiting for the clouds to lift

Revealing a clear sky

And a bright tomorrow

But for now I wait

Trying to remember the day

The week

The month

Temporary solitude

Is still solitude

Even the words struggle

To become a thought

To become something

More than a jumble

A cluster of memories

Flowing together into dreams

Dreams that are fleeting

And sometimes I wonder

If I'm becoming muddled

Jumbled fragments of me

Trying to remain a person

And not just a concept

Is it an existential crisis?

I cannot say

As fragmented thoughts

And partial memories

Float about my mind

Is this new?

Or have I just begun to notice?

I close my eyes

And I recall my face

And realize I'm still me

I'm still here

Whoever that may be today

Through the confusion and pain

I am still here

I am still me

The Sound of Nobody

It was odd to wake up alone

For the first time in my entire life

There was nobody else

Just me, myself, and I

And none of them get along

There was nobody to make breakfast for

Nobody to wake up on the sofa

There was nobody in the top bunk

Sleeping past noon

There was no head on the pillow

Sitting cold next to mine

Nobody stirring in another room

Getting ready to make coffee

That I wasn’t going to drink

Nobody fell asleep in the armchair

After a late-night movie

Nobody stealing my cigarettes

Nobody pouring a morning cocktail

There was nobody in my shower

The only think that I could sense

Was silence upon the air

And I began to wonder

How long this isolation would last

Hoping that it was temporary

Praying it would not last

Fearful of things staying the same

Christmas Bells

A Christmas carol plays

In the lonely night

I sit sipping whiskey

Looking out at the snow

A solitary street light

Brings no warmth

But only allows vision

It flickers and dims

And I am left alone

Sitting in the dark

Ding Dong Ding Dong

Christmas bells are ringing