I Can Love

I could try to change how I feel

How I always feel

But why have another exercise

In human futility?

I remember that I'm in charge

Not of how I feel

But of what I do

With the feelings inside

Deciding if they destroy

Or if they lay still

I cannot change

The way others feel

I only know the love

That lies within me

Knowing that hating it

Will just make it that much bigger

That much harder

To keep tucked away

Not to be forgotten

But to be cherished

Knowing that love not returned

Isn’t a reflection of my heart

But that love kept

Even if kept quiet

Need not be a reminder of pain

But can be a reminder

That I know how to love

And that I can love again

My heart isn't used up

It's just got to be a little bigger

I can look back on that love

Even if it never ends

And know that it's part of me

A part never to be ashamed of

Even if it's only one way

Genuine love lives there

And with that thought

I can still be happy

Because I can love

Unsaid

Hand in Hand

Finally the moment came

Hand in hand they walked away

Into the big bright world

All I could do was watch and pray

But they walked away together

Into the world to laugh and play

Though my heart was anxious

There were no words to say

They went out hand in hand

Ready for the this day

So hard it was to let them go

To just let them walk away

They then looked back and smiled

And I knew it was okay

Alley Rose

Walking through the storm

Cool wind to my back

I hear the call of the night

But I am not the same

A light shines for me

An alley rose

Found in my darkness

Gives me hope

That something so beautiful

Can be discovered

Somewhere so desolate

That maybe the world

Holds something better for me

I pick it up

And carry it near my heart

I walk in the rain

But this time

With a smile

Carrying Memories

Nothing lasts forever

But it doesn't change the hurt

It doesn't erase the pain

When things do end

So we carry on

Carrying a memory

That keeps everything real

That keeps them with us

We tell the stories

That hold us together

We keep them alive in us

Through choking clouds

And foolish risks

Something always lives on

Clinging to that hope

We move forward

Carrying with us

The remembrances

That make us whole

Was, Is, Will Be

 

I was standing in the night

With shadows fallen over all

Questioning who I am

When I saw a flame

Brief it was

I strained to see a figure

Standing beneath a tree

Bringing a cigarette to his lips

But I could not see his face

I was about to turn

Seeking solitude not company

When a voice came

“Why do you question?”

I paused for a moment

Thinking he was speaking to himself

Again he spoke

“You know who you are

Why the questions?

Have you learned nothing?

I thought you were better than this

But then again

Maybe you don't really change”

Startled, I could not speak

His jacket reflecting the moon

He seemed so strange

Yet so familiar

“It must be your nature

No matter how I dislike it”

So arrogant

Thinking he knew me

Thinking he knew anything

My struggles

My pain

His youth showed

In his bold speech

I simply stared at this figure

A phantom in the night

After one long drag

Inhaling deeply the smoke

As he exhaled

He spoke

“The past never dies”

Confused I turned to leave

I spoke as I turned

“I am who I am right now”

But as I turned

I saw another in the dark

Leaning over

Staring at the stars

I could only see his shape

Light reflected from his cane

With a silver dragon

Shining in the darkness

I was so shocked

I stood silent

Then he spoke

With a voice of age 

Filled with the wisdom of years

“You're both so hasty

So head strong

What do you really know?”

This though

Came with a gentleness

That comes from experience

An old man

Reflecting to himself

On such a strange night

I couldn't help but wonder

Did I know this man?

So many years my senior?

Then came his voice again

“Someday you'll understand

But then again

Maybe you'll only realize

That you can never know”

Puzzled I was

Like a riddle

Spoken from the heart

That I knew all too well

He shifted slightly

And gave his parting words

“But who will I be?”

I turned to ponder this odd event

But when I looked

They were both gone

And as I pondered

I reflected on the familiar

The unknown

The thing I would never know

And the words came together

Past

Present

Future

Were such a constant blend

Yet so distinct

Sudden realization

I heard my own voice

Clearly this time

Speaking through it all

“The past never dies

I am who I am right now

But who will I be?”

Thunder of My Soul

The lightning crosses the sky

And my mind is electric

Going faster and faster

Diving backwards and forwards

Thinking of so many things

Then there was a face

Maybe from the past

Maybe from the future

But it was so familiar

Lighting goes out again

Streaking across the purple sky

Shining a light on the beauty

Bringing a smile to my face

Because it didn't matter

If it was memory to be

Or memory of what was

Because the memory was mine

To cherish in the dark of night

Even if it must stay tucked away

In a corner of my heart

Drawn out by the bristling air

Because even when it fades

To just a pinpoint in the heavens

I know the light is still there

Will always be a part of me

Something that I can feel

Through the waves of time

Like a firefly in the heavens

In the thunder of my soul