Looking Back

Sometimes when looking back
It's easier to understand
Just why things go awry
And life isn't what you planned
Because looking back
It let's you see brand new
All the things you understood
And the things you never knew
You can realize the poison
Didn't magically appear one day
It was always there hiding
Behind the things they'd do and say
And maybe it was just pretend
That it would be OK
That we made excuses
Knowing we'd nerve find a way
But time for looking back is done
There's nothing there to see
Just people who are always lonely
But what I can't see now is me

Waking Up Alone

I go to sleep with an elbow to the edge
I wake up on a sliver of bed
With a whole mattress as my kingdom
I still leave room for you
Room for you to learn
Room for you to grow
I wake next to a void of bedsheets
Where I let you be you
And when I wake alone
I wonder to myself
Did I not leave enough room?
Or was there never a place for me at all?

Anxiety Sets In

I'm so tired
Yet I sleep so much
But there is no rest
My mind reels
Like a machine it goes
With no off switch
Thoughts bombard me
They flood my dreams
They haunt my waking hours
They chase me into corners
They beat me down
They wear me out
And at the end of the day
I listen to them
Blaring like a loudspeaker
Anxiety sets in
And I try to sleep once more

Diary of a Poet

I opened the book of memories
Some are good and some are not
But they are mine to hold
Every fleeting thought
Some speak to who I was
Others to who I wanted so to be
But all of them are from my mouth
They hold the essence of me
So pen to paper once again
I pour my soul in word
Where fantasy and memory
Become distant and quite blurred
And what I make it is my own
Nobody else can claim it
Because everything in here is mine
The diary of a poet

Someone You Can Love

There is a struggle within
To understand who I am
But in truth
I want to understand
Who I want to be

But when I think of this
I can't help myself
Of wondering
If who I want to be
Is who you want me to be

And if not
Which do I chose?
It is simple
Who I want to be
Is someone you can love

Expectations

It is too easy in this life

To get caught up in our own view

To get caught up in what we expect

That others will love how we love

That others will care how we care

That others will see how we see

That others will understand what we understand

And we struggle to understand when they don't

But from the outside

You can see that loving is loving

Even if it looks different

You can see that caring is caring

Even if it looks different

That what we see

Is not what others see

But that we understand

When we try to be understood

Don't miss the love you have

Because you don't see the love you give

But understand how you're loved

So that you may love greater

May love stronger

And may appreciate that love

And out-love your expectations

Know You

There's a loneliness that comes
From always being a acquaintance
But never anything more
To be known by your work
But not known for your soul
To be alone in a world
So full of life
So full of people
Yet none who know the real you
Only those who know your name
Who know of you
But do not know you
Who know you from others
Who know you from works
Who know you from stories
But left with none who know
Desperation sets in
And you begin to wonder
Do you know you?