Wonder

The past creeps in
Whenever I try to not think
How are you now?
Do I ever cross your mind?
Is it ever in fondness?
Or do you still carry a grudge
Because I was me?
I will never know for sure
But I can guess
And then I try to leave the past behind.

Discarded

I was going to write about how I feel
But instead I wrote this
And it all worked out
Because it was discarded
And it turns out
That was all I was trying to say

Longing

Like a creature of the night
I long for what will make me whole
For the warmth of touch
For companionship

Like the lost traveler
I long to find a home
For a place where I belong
For acceptance

Like a man who knows his fate
I long to change it
For a future I desire
For control

A longing unfulfilled
Something deep inside
I know that it is not for me
For I suffer
So others may find happiness

While I hide the real me
Deep in the shadows
Not to be seen
But to sit in longing
Alone in a crowd
A ghost of a man
Who could have been
But never was
And never will be